1.

Bob Blumer
Bob Blumer at Nasi Lemak CT Garden, Kampung Baru, KL

In the desolate depths of a perilous place
the Blumerman lurks, with a snarl on his face.

 

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Kg Baru market
Kampung Baru market

Never dare, never dare to approach his dark lair
for he’s waiting . . . just waiting . . . to get you.

 

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Bob Blumer in Kg Baru
Bob Blumer taking a stroll in Kg Baru

He skulks in the shadows, relentless and wild
in his search for a tender, delectable child.

 

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Famous chefs eat with their fingers too
Bob Blumer trying putu bambu in Kampung Baru

With his steely sharp claws and his slavering jaws
oh he’s waiting . . . just waiting . . . to get you.

 

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A night out with Bob Blumer at Nasi Lemak CT Garden
Enjoying nasi lemak in Kampung Baru with Bob Blumer

Many have entered his dreary domain
but not even one has been heard from again.

 

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kg baru market
Kampung Baru Market

They no doubt made a feast for the butchering beast
and he’s waiting . . . just waiting . . . to get you.

 

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Kg Baru market
Kampung Baru market

In that sulphurous, sunless and sinister place
he’ll crumple your bones in his Blumer embrace.

 

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Bob Blumer
Mr Bob Blumer

Never never go near if you hold your life dear,
for oh! . . . what he’ll do . . . when he gets you!

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Adapted from a poem entitled The Bogeyman by Jack Prelutsky

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2.

When I first watched The Surreal Gourmet on TV a couple of years back, little did I know that one day, I’d be having dinner and taking a stroll down Jalan Raja Alang in Kampung Baru with that gravity-defying-hairstyled chef himself.  Actually, I think I was mostly attracted to his hair and his wide grin.  He may have lost that hairstyle, but his grin is certainly still there.  I can’t imagine what it must be like for him, travelling from place to place, meeting new people all the time, and having to wear a perpetual smile.  Reminds me of my wedding day when I had to smile and thank over 800 people at one of two wedding receptions: whoever said it takes less muscles to smile than to frown must have been a leprechaun high on moonshine.

The Daily News

When asked whether he could handle spicy food, the Blumerman said, bring it on, baby.   So nasi lemak at Nasi Lemak CT Garden in Kampung Baru was a breeze in the park for him.

Putu Bambu

When asked to try the putu bambu at Jalan Raja Alang in Kampung Baru, he didn’t ask for a spoon.   Instead, he dove straight in with his fingers, letting the warm, freshly made putu take centre stage, while the proprietors gave an approving nod at the mat salleh eating with his fingers, embracing the gooey stickiness of the gula melaka (palm sugar).

Don't buy me flowers dear, Give me bunga kantan instead

We plundered on with him, taking in the sights and sounds of the market. For me, at least, it was an inspiring experience seeing fresh ulam, bundles of bunga kantan (torch ginger buds, used liberally in local dishes like asam laksa) and exotic fruits – I photographed everything with a religious fervour, almost forgetting that Blumer was in our midst.

Kg Baru

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3.

This May, it’s Bob Blumer-mania as Discovery Travel & Living’s BEST OF BOB BLUMER brings viewers on a quirky gastronomic tour.   From May 11, this week-long compilation of the best-rated episodes from SURREAL GOURMET 4 and GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT 2 airs every weeknight on ASTRO Channel 707 from 8:00pm to 9:00pm and on Sunday, May 17 from 3:00pm to 8:00pm.

Bob Blumer and salted fish

Thank you, Discovery Travel & Living and Compass Communications Sdn Bhd, for inviting us on the jalan-jalan tour with Bob Blumer.   I’m still elated.

It was good fun doing the rounds with S, Splashie Boy, Boo_licious from Masak-Masak and Adly from FriedChillies.  And hello Connie and Blake!

For a detailed writeup, visit Masak-Masak.

Note:  It is sometimes difficult to find inspiration for a post, and I would like to dedicate this post to one “Ciki” of cumidanciki who started spouting nursery rhymes about the Bogeyman, an idea which led me to the poem above.