A Malaysian Blog about Food, Family and Friends – by Lyrical Lemongrass
In the desolate depths of a perilous place
the Blumerman lurks, with a snarl on his face.
Never dare, never dare to approach his dark lair
for he’s waiting . . . just waiting . . . to get you.
He skulks in the shadows, relentless and wild
in his search for a tender, delectable child.
With his steely sharp claws and his slavering jaws
oh he’s waiting . . . just waiting . . . to get you.
Many have entered his dreary domain
but not even one has been heard from again.
They no doubt made a feast for the butchering beast
and he’s waiting . . . just waiting . . . to get you.
In that sulphurous, sunless and sinister place
he’ll crumple your bones in his Blumer embrace.
Never never go near if you hold your life dear,
for oh! . . . what he’ll do . . . when he gets you!
Adapted from a poem entitled The Bogeyman by Jack Prelutsky
When I first watched The Surreal Gourmet on TV a couple of years back, little did I know that one day, I’d be having dinner and taking a stroll down Jalan Raja Alang in Kampung Baru with that gravity-defying-hairstyled chef himself. Actually, I think I was mostly attracted to his hair and his wide grin. He may have lost that hairstyle, but his grin is certainly still there. I can’t imagine what it must be like for him, travelling from place to place, meeting new people all the time, and having to wear a perpetual smile. Reminds me of my wedding day when I had to smile and thank over 800 people at one of two wedding receptions: whoever said it takes less muscles to smile than to frown must have been a leprechaun high on moonshine.
When asked whether he could handle spicy food, the Blumerman said, bring it on, baby. So nasi lemak at Nasi Lemak CT Garden in Kampung Baru was a breeze in the park for him.
When asked to try the putu bambu at Jalan Raja Alang in Kampung Baru, he didn’t ask for a spoon. Instead, he dove straight in with his fingers, letting the warm, freshly made putu take centre stage, while the proprietors gave an approving nod at the mat salleh eating with his fingers, embracing the gooey stickiness of the gula melaka (palm sugar).
We plundered on with him, taking in the sights and sounds of the market. For me, at least, it was an inspiring experience seeing fresh ulam, bundles of bunga kantan (torch ginger buds, used liberally in local dishes like asam laksa) and exotic fruits – I photographed everything with a religious fervour, almost forgetting that Blumer was in our midst.
This May, it’s Bob Blumer-mania as Discovery Travel & Living’s BEST OF BOB BLUMER brings viewers on a quirky gastronomic tour. From May 11, this week-long compilation of the best-rated episodes from SURREAL GOURMET 4 and GLUTTON FOR PUNISHMENT 2 airs every weeknight on ASTRO Channel 707 from 8:00pm to 9:00pm and on Sunday, May 17 from 3:00pm to 8:00pm.
Thank you, Discovery Travel & Living and Compass Communications Sdn Bhd, for inviting us on the jalan-jalan tour with Bob Blumer. I’m still elated.
For a detailed writeup, visit Masak-Masak.
Food, for me, is a means to an end and not an end in itself.
Food, for me, represents the love of family, the fellowship of friends, and the community and communality it brings.