A Whiff of Lemongrass

Aw Yeah, Don’t Hate Me Cuz I’m Beautiful
And Where Is The Body?
Move Over Mutha Cuz I’m Going Faster Than You Can Drive
The Body’s Beautiful, Baby
That’s Right, I Just Can’t Help It
It’s Not My Fault, I Was Born This Way

Get With The B-E-A-U-T-Y
Beauty, The Body Is Beautiful
Get With The B-E-A-U-T-Y
Beauty, The Body Is Beautiful

I’m Up And Coming, I Am A Child
I’m Legendary, Hey, I’m Free And Wild
I Am The Ocean, And I Rule The World
I’m Sensual, I Am Body Beautiful
My Cha-Cha Pumps (Hump-A-Dooty), I’ve Got Them On (In A Winnin’ Ticket)
And I Work The Runway (Left-Right-Left-Right-Left), Baby, All Night Long
I Am The One (The Only One), There Is No Other
I Am Mother, I Am Body Beautiful

Lights, Camera, Action!
Satisfaction Guaranteed, That’s What I Need
I Celebrate The Body And Enjoy Good Health
And I Gets Down With My Bad Self
It’s All Good From The Front To The Back
Two Snaps And A Clap For A Body Like That
It’s A Good Damn Thing I Don’t Care What You Say
Somebody Beautiful (I Am Body Beautiful), Hey, That’s Me

I Am Grand (Grand Diva), I Am The Queen (Queen Bee)
A Masquerade (Who Am I?), I’m Fantasy (You’re A Fantasy)
I Am The House (The Whole Mansion) Of Elegance
Featuring, I Am Body Beautiful (Body Beautiful)

Don’t Hate Me Cuz I’m Beautiful
Everybody’s Beautiful In Their Own Special Way (Yes)
Carry Yourself Like A Queen And You Will Attract A King
Beauty Comes From Within (Yes)
Whatever The Mind Can Conceive And Believe
You Will Achieve (Got To Believe)
Do You Believe (Yes) That You Are Body Beautiful?
Yes! Yes! Oooo, Yes!

There Ain’t Enough Words To Express How I Feel
I’m Body Beautiful, True, That’s For Real
Am Who I Am And That’s All I Can Be
Open Up Your Mind So Your Eyes Can See

Body Beautiful, Baby (Work That Body)
Body Beautiful, Baby (Work It, Work It)
Body Beautiful, Baby (Work That Body)
Body Beautiful That’s Me (Word)

Then I’m-A Tell Ya Like This, And I’m-A Tell Ya This Way
My Body’s Beautiful, That’s All I’m Sayin’
Bodies Come In All Different Shapes And Sizes
You’re Beautiful, Too, Just Realize This
Can’t You See The Beauty In Me?
Open Up Your Heart And Set Your Mind Free
Everybody’s Beautiful In Their Own Way
Express Yourself Every Day
And When You Got Joy On The Inside It Shows On The Out
Be Confident And You’re Beautiful Without A Doubt
You’re Absolutely Gorgeous, Don’t Ya Know?
So You Got The Body Beautiful Glow

Body Beautiful, Baby (Work That Body)
Body Beautiful, Baby (Work It, Work It)
Body Beautiful, Baby (Work That Body)
Body Beautiful (I Am Body Beautiful) That’s Me

Lyrics taken from Salt N Pepa “I am the Body Beautiful”

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This Christmas, forget about serving turkey.   Be different.  Serve capon.   Capon?  Castrated chicken.   Why?  Coz it’s big enough to serve the football team that is your family (including your mother-in-law, grandparents and Aunt Agnes whom you haven’t seen in 15 years), and the flesh is firm, tasty and juicy with the right amount of fat.  Capons are at least 4 kg in weight, which make them ideal as a turkey substitute.   The fat content is a result of removing the testes from the cockerel which hinders the production of male hormones, which I suppose, indirectly means that the cockerels adopt female errrrr tendencies.  No breasts, though.   Which incidentally reminds me of this email that’s been circulating (article written by a Jonathan Hayter):

Staring at women’s breast is good for men’s health and makes them live longer, a survey reveals.

Researchers have discovered that a 10-minute ogle at women’s breast is as healthy as half-an-hour in the gym. A five year study of 200 men found that those who enjoyed a longing look at busty beauties had lower blood pressure and less heart disease and slower pulse rates compared to those who did not get their daily eyeful.

Dr. Karen Weatherby, who carried out the German study, wrote in the New England Journal of Medicine:”Just 10-minutes of staring at the charms of a well endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics workout. Sexual excitement gets the heart pumping and improves circulation. There is no question that gazing at breast makes men healthier.”

“Our study indicates that engaging in this activity a few minutes daily cuts the risk of a stroke and a heart attack in half. We believe that by doing so consistently, the average man can extend his life four to five years.”

The catch: The oglee had to be well-endowed. What the article didn’t say was if the breasts had to be bared, or how many men got a good face-slapping.

Thanks to Cumi and Babe_KL who collaborated with Gerald from Sunshine Chicken, a few of us drove up to Kuala Lipis in the rain to visit a chicken farm and witnessed the castration of the former Mr Cock.   The procedure seemed painless; I suppose the chickens didn’t know what hit them when the metal thingy was inserted into the flesh.  Perhaps they felt a tickle when their testes were pulled out.  Don’t try this at home.

The birds are usually 2 months old at the point of castration, and they are bred for a further 4 months, at which point, several changes would have taken place.  Their fat content would have increased and their combs and wattle would have stopped growing.

The chickens at Sunshine chicken farm are happy chickens (no pun intended).   Unlike certain chicken farms where the chickens are cramped into tiny little hostels, these buggers roam free and are fed a premium diet which includes “Ma Cho”, a type of Napier grass that looks like pandan.  Also, no antibiotics or growth hormones are used.   This probably explains the higher price tag, but what price health, eh?

Both capons and free-range (kampung) chickens are available, and if you’re looking for a change this Christmas, they are currently being sold at O Gourmet in Bangsar Shopping Centre.   For more information on where the chickens are available, check out the website.  You can also call Sunshine Chicken at 03-9102 3950 for more information.  I’ve already placed an order for 2 capons and 3 free-range chickens.  My mother-in-law is apparently going to cheer up the entire Liverpool Fan Club in Malaysia this Christmas.  Don’t call me for your free invitation.